A Letter To My Son on His First Birthday

Dear Baby D,

My sweet little mama’s boy.  How fast this past year went!  They say that time flies when you are having fun, and you have certainly proved that rule.  It’s funny now to look at you and wonder how on earth you haven’t been part of my life longer, but the truth is I think you may have always been a part of my life.  I think it’s very fitting that you were born in December as you really are a true gift.

"Brothers" "Meeting baby" 'Siblings" "New Baby" "

When I was a little girl I knew I wanted to be a mother.  When I became a mom, the love I felt for your brother (and feel for your brother) was so big it hurt at times.  I often looked at him when I was pregnant with you and wondered how on earth I could possibly love another little person as much and as deeply as I loved him.  I didn’t know where I would find room for more love.

God knew.

You see I don’t think you find room, I think there is a space that is already there, empty, waiting for you to fill it up.  On your birth day I was blessed with two amazing gifts.  The first gift came the instant you were placed onto my chest.  In that moment what I can remember feeling the most was this amazing warmth spreading through my whole body.  My love for you filled a space equal to your brothers with a love so intense, so palpable I feel it with each beating rhythm.

I will never forget on the day you were born your brother came to the hospital to meet the baby he had lovingly called “Monster Truck” for the first time.  Do you know he used to talk to you in my belly?  He would talk of wanting to teach you to play cars, and read books.  He used to drive cars over my belly pretending he was already playing with you.  He even kept an ultrasound picture in his room so that he could see you and dream about you before you came.  That day he met you for the first time you gave me my second gift.

I watched him slowly walk into the room asking where you were, and walk over to your bassinet.  His eyes danced with excitement, and as he put his hands on the metal railing to peer over to see you for the first time the warmth that I felt when you were placed on my chest was back.  I watched as your brother fell instantly in love with your small squeaky little self.  I had spent the past three and a half years in love with that boy, but watching him as he saw you for the first time was like falling in love with my first baby all over again.

Boy meets brother for first time

I was a mother to two amazing and special little boys and I knew then you would bring joy wherever you went.

And boy oh boy are you full of joy.  Everyone loves to comment on how happy of a baby you are, how sweet and loving you are.  I’ve watched as you have charmed a smile from even the most sour of people as we are out and about.  I’ve soaked in the moments you laugh and giggle with your brother.  Seeing your love grow and blossom has brought more joy to me then I could ever even express.

Your curiosity and precociousness keep me on my  toes.  Admittedly I thought that I would have a lot of been there done that what with you being my second little boy, but just as I was surprised by the instantaneous love I felt on the day you were born, I am always surprised by the unique outlook and joy you have.  Everyday you surprise me, delight me, teach me, and inspire me.

I once heard another mother say “Happy Birth Day” referring to the day that was not only a child’s birthday, but the day that they family was blessed with new life.  Your birth day will always remind me of the birth of my second son who taught me that life is is bigger than what you think you know and full of surprises.  Thank you sweet boy for brightening our days with your joyful soul.

I love you forever and always.

Xoxxo, Mama

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